What Ever Happened To Crazy?

This is one of my favorite Chris Rock sayings. Sometimes I get a little fed up with people that make a lot of excuses for other people. Sometimes there is no "innocent misunderstanding", the bitch is crazy. I have a best friend who's girlfriend just left him after several years. Now, he's not perfect, but she is just a little off scale (crazy). He is a "Crazy Girl Magnet." He is trying to justify the situation, blaming himself, wondering what he can do to calm her restless soul. After he rambled for a good 45 minutes. I said, "you know, that girl is just crazy". It wasn't the most appropriate thing to say, but you know what, call a spade a spade and get on with finding the real reason. He smiled and was probably trying not to knock my block off.

"To have a good enemy, chose a friend. He knows where to strike." Henri II mistress

Fantasy Football

I do pretty good in life with addictions. I don't have many vices other than food (I'm still working on that one). I do have one disturbing addiction of late, that is just growing - fantasy football. I am currently in 2 leagues. I have been in one league for a long time, 6 years to exact. I started a new league this year and I have been invited into another league next year. Sundays have become a disaster to those around me and to my computer, who I blame for my players not performing. I dominate my house with every TV on games and I am unbearable when I (my fantasy team) is losing. After every score update or a hint that a player may have scored, I run to my computer. Now, I have been trying to control my addiction. I have completely turned my computer off and not checked fantasy scores until the end of the day. I just sit there yearning to find out. I feel like a junkie. My fiance has gotten me out to eat, but I go to the bar to check the scores. I justify it because she goes to smoke, which is her addiction.

Has this become the Dungeon & Dragons for athletes? I'm not a RB that is actually scoring, but I live and die on Sundays by those that do.

Help!

Where have I been?

It's been a week or two since I last posted. I always think about writing, but the only real time I have is at work. I am sure if they knew what I was doing they would frown on this activity. I don't feel comfortable writing here at home. This is a experimental process for me. It's not that I am keeping this from my fiance or I have some deep dark secrets, but it's something I want to do for me. A space for my inner thoughts regardless of their content.
We have been doing a lot of wedding planning the last two weeks. Booking vendors, tasting food, finalizing guests lists. What a pain in the ass and we still have 7 months! I love my fiance, I would be happy to marry her tomorrow at the JOP. This is really a process that is for the bride and her mother. I am convinced my monster-in-law to be is bi-polar. She flips constantly and my poor fiance handles her so well (practice). I, on the other hand, want to strangle her. I try to justify her actions by remembering that if I was about to drop 20 grand on something not entirely for me, I would want a little control too. I keep hearing my older male friends saying, "you are not just marrying her, you are marrying her family." Fortunately, she's worth it.

I also have been extremely busy at work. As I posted before, up until about a year ago, I have been an underachievers. When I moved back home, with my tail between my legs, I decided to right the ship and go forward. I have been working at a small company and trying to impress upon them or my usual trickiration that I am a viable future leader of this place. I am a salesman, not the scum kind, but still the same family. I have been a solid performer, surprisingly enough to myself. I am trying to do the over and above things as well. In my head I want to do nothing short of jumping up and down doing cheers for myself. Instead, I work past when everyone is gone and try to get notice as much as possible. I chose this place because of the management. I don't make near enough money (who does) and we are without benefits, but the leaders of this company are amazing people. I am hoping some of their classic overachieving will rub off. It's funny, I talk of the things I do, yet I am hear writing.
This of course leads me back to why I'm hear. I talk a lot, it's why I do what I do. I have the problem of being a little to open and honest. I am trying to keep from getting openly frustrated with people and 'letting them know about it'. So, I can write here about some of the things I think, without the reprecution of people's, important people's reaction.
Back to work ...